All-Wiener Team 2012: Adrian Gonzalez isn’t cutting the mustard

Around grills this holiday weekend the Trevor Plouffe's of processed meats, the hot dog, will be devoured in mass quantities.

Frankly speaking, these versatile mystery meats are formed from unknown ingredients no human wants to know the true origin of — mechanically separated "beef," sodium erythorbate, unknown "flavorings." In a phrase, they are unsettlingly fantastic.

Coming off solid 2011 campaigns, this year's saured class of tubed meats, if consumed, were also expected to satisfy the stomach. Acquire them, fanalysts and seasoned owners reasoned in March, and investors were sure to relish consistent production. After all, fantasy commodities, in terms of statistical contribution, are supposed