Freditorial - 7/12

Your old pal Fred, back again even though you probably didn't invite me. Nobody calls anymore. I got a text message from my grandson the other day. I tried to call him back, but he didn't answer his phone. I didn't know what was going on, and then he texted me back to ask why I had called. What? He wants me to text him back, but I can't on account of the rheumatism. It makes them little cell phones like a bear trap for my hands.

Old Man Regorter always told me, "Sonny boy, never wear out a welcome." Of course, he never sat in this really comfortable chair here. It even has an ottoman! He always sat in that ratty recliner of his, like the grandpa from Cheers. Plus, I get all the Faygo I can