You Fly To Majors Now, Little Starling… Fly, Fly, Fly…

The Pirates announced the time is nigh for Starling Marte.  The Pirates equipment manager, Buffalo Bill, has to start making a uniform made from Jose Tabata’s skin.  Put the lotion in the basket, Tabata!  Tabata, “I wanna go home!”  You won’t go home, ever.  Because you never get on base, that’s the first step to going home.  Tabata, “But I was a spring sleeper!”  They’re slaughtering the spring lambs.  Can’t you hear their screaming?  I call that piece, The Mash-Up of the Lambs.  I’m guessing Marte will get the call just after the All-Star break.  In Triple-A, he’s hitting .284 with 8 homers and 16 steals *quieter voice* and 12 times caught stealing.  So he’s a bit raw like your